Of Endings and Beginnings As We Dance On

This beginning starts at the end.  At the end of a choreography pulled together with my beautiful students in early morning rehearsals after surviving through sleepless nights studying.  My students dancing a choreography that culminated with silence as their poses melted into darkness and their magic faded into the background.  A poetic moment of the artistic process and the diversity of the theatrical experience.  Indeed the recognition and applause irrelevant in moments of great personal discovery and artistic growth.  The pleasure of silence and strength in the survival after a challenge that felt overwhelming and the simple pleasure of relentless collaboration.  The humility of the search for beauty and truth, and the awe of dance as it comes alive in all its autonomy.

My Beautiful Students Onstage, December 2018.  Before fading into the background.

This beginning starts at the end of my Masters in Education.  With the exhaustion and culmination of a process so intense that felt too short.  The end of a process that feels as a beginning: piles of books that deserve to be re-read and studied for analysis and understanding.  With writings, ideas and notes that seem to be beginnings of a thin thread of new ideas sitting in the lines of supposedly concluded work.  Information, theory and practical knowledge to be applied and used in the educational field, and to be translated to dance pedagogy.  Most of all, to be translated to daily life: identifying oneself always as both as teacher and learner.  

This beginning starts with my first feedback of my work presented at the end my first module participation as a student of Middlesex University of London MA Dance Technique and Pedagogy.  A feedback that brought both relief and curiosity as I embark on further exploration and study.  My papers are organised.  Many books selected and stacked for reading and analysis.  My handbooks are printed, underlined and read.  Ideas of my research roughly outlined on paper and post-it notes ready to start weaving those threads of ideas into coherence in a slowly developing jigsaw puzzle.  It seems unbelievable that by December I will be in London presenting.

My desk is ready and the reading, studying and reflection has started.

Module one work for the Masters in Dance was particularly challenging and personally engaging.  As we explored Areas of Learning I found myself revisiting the most important moments of my development as a dancer and professional in the field.  Revisiting the past from the optics of my present was an extraordinary, emotionally charged and disarming experience.  Understanding the connections between experiential learning and academic study through the present reality of professional practice, has been an important development in my work.

The year 2019 begins with dancing and with the seeking healthy habits and routines.  The year begins with studying and training, and with analysis of the teaching and learning process.  The year begins with discipline and, despite the imperfections of old processes and efforts, with a newfound sensitivity that the best place to be is starting with all that needs to be begun in the quest of dreams, dance and personal growth.  Endings leave us in a vulnerable place that allows the analysis of mistakes, imperfections and processes in need of  work.  However when endings mark the way of new beginnings, the opportunity of growth is outlined.  The metaphor of dancing resonates, as each new performance allows the birth of new dance and true joy.