On The Road to Travel Upon

Researching is not an easy task.  Especially when it is a topic that one becomes truly invested in and excited about.  The idea of not developing the research as well as the topic deserves is a bit overwhelming.  Also, as one begins to read and find an echo in the voice of other academics it is easy to become mute and nervous about one’s own voice.  

Today I had a wonderful experience, we met with Helen Kindred our professor and leader for the third term of the master’s in dance Middlesex University London programme. As often happens in these meetings, we spoke about many details.  From this meeting I walk away knowing that I must read more about research and about methodologies in the inquiry process in general as well.  I know I still have many hours to spend mulling over my research.  

Furthermore, something very significant came up during the class conversation.  Many of us were very nervous and we were hoping to be able to outline, plan, and get our work ready for presentation.  Hoping to organise our writing and our artefact, to develop our work clearly and delimit our pathway.  However, it has been explained to us repeatedly that our supervisors cannot help us do such a thing.  It is impossible to delimit outcomes or map research still in development.  We ignore that which we do not know, and we are not sure whether what we suspect we will find is truly there.

My classmate Agatha asked today if any of us had found that our research has gone a completely different direction from our original research questions.  In my case it has. That which I deemed important is not so much so and the underlying reason and justification for all this hard research work has shifted momentously before my eyes.  My research has taken a new urgency after reviewing all this literature, field research and researching my dance community... I am now ever so convinced of the imperativeness to further develop my inquiry.  However, with this enthusiasm comes great pressure, both academic and emotional, to excel and do justice to such important work in my field and in my community.  However, I cannot jump ahead, and this was made evident today by Helen.  I am undergoing an extraordinary process now in which I am reaching out to my community at large and my dance community specifically has so much to teach me.  There is so much to understand and analyse, if I obsess with where my research should end, I might lose sight of where the research itself is heading.  I will not enjoy this unique moment of working the field if I do not focus on the research as it is happening and developing before me. 

I hope someday to remember this moment of my life with fondness.  This moment is special in that I have had the privilege of learning openly, with time and dedication and humbleness from others.  This moment is one in that I can and must slowly analyse and understand.  When I was younger, my bachelor studies depended a great deal on my organisation and mapping of activities I had to accomplish, exams I had to take, and even books I had to devour. Today in this dance programme research I am embarking upon, there is no such map... no simple activities to follow nor a right or wrong way of doing things.  I have had to learn to work with diligence and to listen with patience. There is no stairway to climb, but rather the success of this project depends on my humility, discipline, and diligent analysis.  This is about listening to my own experiential learning and to give value to the understanding and knowledge of others.  I must also deepen my philosophical grasp and understanding as I envision and others envision our dance community as it grows and extends, from the tiny classroom, to my city, to my province, and to the larger and beautiful country of Costa Rica. 

As I further understand the importance, the influence and the pathway of dance in Costa Rican early childhood education... I first must stop and patiently read the books, have the conversations, and then unwind and work through the different, difficult questions.  I truly do not know how this research will be shaped by the end of the year nor what answers I will find.  However, I will listen, and I will enjoy this beautifully and ironically, complex, delicate and inspiring moment of my academic life.  I cannot help but close these thoughts with a feeling of gratitude and a tiny little bit more clarity.

Costa Rican Ballet Dancers, Teatro de la Danza.
My student ballerinas from our Chroreographic Workshop class
 from Body Motion Dance Studio