On Returning to my Last Term to Middlesex University

This is the beginning of the end of my studies at Middlesex University London, as a student of the master’s in Dance Technique Pedagogy.  On Friday September 13^th, led by Adesola, we had our first meeting with old and new students.  It seems as if it was yesterday that I was a first term student as well, and yet this term is my last. 

This process started out as a dream of returning to the dance classroom as a student after years of dancing and teaching.  I yearned to become a student once again, to read and learn about the latest dance education theory and of proper technique.  I sought to be humbled and inspired.  To understand the journey the dance world is on and become part of the new pathways laid by my art form.  I have envisioned myself becoming a better dance artist and educator.  Little did I understand or foresee the personal journey I was embarking upon.  Little did I know that this process would open the doors of my mind, and I would come to rediscover myself as a dancer, and as a developing and transforming human being.  Through my professional work and through the analysis of my past learning and experiential knowledge, I have found a coherent and loud voice of the artist and teacher that I am.

For those who are not dancers, or even for those that do not seek the professional dance pathway, it is difficult to understand the building of a dancer’s story.  Dance life occurs way too quickly.  The dancer lives all the experiences that the non-dancer lives: growing up, surviving school and education, the constructing of relationships, the coming of adulthood, love and loss, illusion and heartbreak, success and failure, the choosing of a family- or not - the growing older. the sweetness of maturity… and all of these with a parallel and intense life within the dance studio and the stage.

When I have spoken to non-dancers, I get the impression that they think that a dance career occurs in a linear fashion that we dance somehow isolated from the challenges of a regular life.  I remember a dancer that danced by hobby telling me once that it was hard to dance when finishing high school, somehow, she believed that dancers on a professional track would be exempt from examinations or a regular academic schedule. This is incorrect perception, often young dancers can be found between rehearsals sitting in the hallways studying for exams fulfilling their school assignments and rushing their homework, often with heavy eyelids and a shaky hand.  Professional dance education occurs as life is happening.

The reality becomes more complex for dancers with long careers their dance story may feel fragmented as one switches roles between professional and personal life. Dramatic changes occur during the change from student to professional dancer, to the inclusion of dance teaching, to taking on dance leadership roles.  Dance life happens fast and agitated with the feeling that opportunity must be seized before it disappears.

Through the work structure of this master’s degree I have had the opportunity to sit down and reflect about my dance journey, tracing the paths and curves I have travelled upon.  The narrative becomes clearer, the fragments become a story with a thread that links between events weaving themselves through.

From my reflexive work for this master’s I have better understood my philosophical stance and found an echo of my voice through the extraordinary writing of other dance academics.  I have discovered that intellectually in the dance community we share more common concerns now through connectivism and a common desire to improve dance practices.  As a dance community we have become more professional an interdisciplinary in our work.

I started this master’s program hoping to be humbled by all the new pedagogical dance theories to learn, but what I have received from this process has been much greater than that.  This master’s programme has led me to deeply analyse my dance roots and my learning through the rigorous revisiting of my dance history.  I have had an extraordinary relearning of what I know and how I learnt.

I have had the experience of celebrating and relearning the teachings of my dance teachers.  I have been able to analyse the teachings of different dance mentors in my life.  I was able to rethink about my apprentice relationship with Miss Day, founder and director of the Washington Ballet and School, as she trained and led me towards dance education and leadership.  I have appropriately mourned her death, as I had not had the peace of mind to do when I was younger. 

In this process of reviewing my experiential learning I was able to better understand my experience and relearn in a deeper way and in a more conscious manner.  I have also been able to feel profoundly grateful for the teachings of my teachers.  As I close this phase of my master’s, I have emerged more confident of my grounding and now forever aware of the extraordinary cultural tradition from which I have emerged, and I must honour.

The impact on my dance community is immeasurable.  The teachings reaching students in their formative years is evidenced as children student dancers become adults and become professionals in their respective fields.  The understanding of the far-reaching knowledge, discipline and self-awareness acquired through dancing is reflected in my students personal development as the teaching and learning relationship extends from my teachers to my very own students. 

My beautiful ballet student Jimena, 

months shy of graduating high school

I am humbled by the interconnections of the dance world.  I understand today that in my hands I hold a tiny piece of dance history and knowledge.  It is a tiny piece of this greatness that I hold, and I too have the responsibility of sharing, teaching and honouring this tradition.  All of this with an acute understanding of the shortness of my very own life.

In the second phase of this master’s I have truly learned to research my craft.  This has been the most important learning so far.  It has been important for me to learn about the vast amount of dance literature that exists in international libraries.  Long after I will conclude my studies, I will continue learning, I am forever aware of the existent literature and knowledge.  Also, I have discovered the great pleasure of reading and learning from the interconnected and greater dance community.

With great excitement I have entered the last stage of my studies.  I am about to start my field research and I am thinking of shaping my artefact and my writing.  I must admit I feel a twinge of sadness knowing that this will all come to an end soon.  I will miss the challenges of the studying for my master’s degree and will miss the companionship of my classmates and professor programme leaders.  However, despite my sadness of this ending, the transformative changes that I have lived through this process as a dance professional will continue with me and have already marked me profoundly.